In some circles the f-word appears in every other sentence. In other circles it’s looked on as crude and uncultured.
I would like to help you change how you think about the f-word, so it is no longer scary to think about it, but it actually helps you achieve your goals.
If you’ve been reading these emails for a while, you already know what I think about the f-word. But if you don’t know me very well yet, you may not be able to guess what I’m going to say to you next.
Failure. The f-word is failure.
Personally, I don’t really like the word because people have a lot of preconceived ideas about what it means. It’s a word that makes people feel bad about themselves.
It causes people to fear being judged by others, which them prevents them from having the courage to take action.
But I would like to change this perception.
The problem is, most of the time, when you think of someone as a failure, you also think of them as giving up. And that’s where this conversation really begins.
First, no one IS a failure.
Perhaps you may have attempted a task or activity that didn’t give you the result you wanted, but you, personally, are not “a failure”.
When you adopt a label for yourself, of course you end up finding new and creative ways to live up to that label! And who wants to be “a failure”??
Second, I have talked to so many people who have tried to get fit or lose weight, or both, and time after time I hear, “I tried but it just doesn’t work for me.”
Notice the past tense of the word, “tried”?
That’s the thing you want to avoid: using past tense.
In fact, I don’t even like the word “try”. Remember Yoda? “Do or do not; there is no try.”
How many times have you “tried”? What got in your way? What blocked you from achieving your goal?
Next week, we’ll talk about finding a reason to stick with your goals, but for right now let’s just talk about what it means to keep starting over.
When you keep starting over, it means you no longer think in the past tense, but use the present tense.
You get to reconsider the word “failure”. In fact, if the word “failed” makes you feel bad, don’t even use it!
Take it out of your vocabulary – today – and start saying things like, “Every day, I am getting better and better at my fitness goals!”
Here are a couple of affirmations you can say to yourself, that will help you feel great and stay focused on the best way to achieve your goals:
“I am getting better and better at saying ‘no’ to foods I know are not good for me. Sometimes I make a mistake, but I don’t beat myself up about it, but get right back on the program the next meal.”
“I know that every day is a new day, and I can pick myself up and start over again every day. In fact, every day I get to start over. Yesterday is in the past, and now, today, I get to make new choices that help me feel healthier and better about myself.”
Do you see what I’m doing here? I’m using the present tense, I’m showing incremental change that makes me feel good about myself, and I’m not talking about failure. I’m also not focusing on the end result but on the process that happens every single day.
I would love to hear from you. Please write back to tell me two or three sentences you’re going to say to yourself that don’t sound like too much of a stretch in reality, and that encourage you for continuing to stay with a program that you’ve chosen in order to reach your goals.
You have no idea how much this will help you!
So, I am serious. STOP what you’re doing right now, hit reply at the top of this email, and tell me the couple of sentences you’re going to use – starting right now – that help you feel good, are in present tense, and that focus on the process. You can even use what I’ve given you above. I don’t care if you swipe it and use it. 🙂
If you would like to meet with me to talk further about what your goals are for health and fitness, I would also love to schedule an appointment. Just click here to get on my calendar. I can’t wait to talk to you!
PS, look for next week’s email about creating a compelling purpose for reaching your health and fitness goals.